Photo by Ezo Renier.

They say it’s better to have loved and lost to never have loved at all. But is that really true? I read countless books, stories, biographies, saw a million films, documentaries, plays, etc. And in each one two people spend years finding each other, falling into agony with each other, rewriting histories and bringing down kingdoms for each other and then one of them dies. It’s final. There’s nothing but an endless void that is left open like a wound that’s never to heal. Yes, those two people may have chosen in moments past to go their separate ways, to seek something else but always carrying that love and chaos for each other in them and knowing that the bond is unbreakable. Knowing that eventually they will find their way back to each other and that blending of heaven and hell on earth that only they can give to one another. But then the lifeline snaps. One of them dies, leaves the other for one last time. What happens then? Then you are left with nothing but your pain. Unending fire that burns and slowly consumes you. Grief is a terrible beast that gnaws at you until your last breath. They say time heals all wounds but that of course isn’t so. When you lose someone that was essentially a part of you you never recover. You never find peace again. You only try to learn how to continue living without that person. And you fail every day. Yes, you may meet someone else, be with someone else, might even feel the echo of that bond but it’s an imitation. You will go on, living, maybe even loving but it won’t be “it”. In the darkest night, at the quietest moment, in your solitude when you least expect it it’ll strike you like a ball of lightning. You’ll want to howl and tear yourself to pieces just to get some respite from the agony of having loved and lost. So I ask you again: is love worth it? Before you answer yes or no I want you to understand that I’m not talking about the “puppy love” type of love, or complacent type of love, the “comfortable”, the “settling” type of love. I’m talking about the all consuming, can’t live without each other, volatile, uncomfortable, chaotic type of love. The love that is written in the stars, the other half of yourself that you didn’t even know was missing. A soul that you’ve spend a millennia searching for. 

Now imagine you are able to see the future, you know the end game. You know that you will lose that person when you meet them, are you willing to suffer for an eternity in exchange for a decade of bliss? What do you say: yes or no? 

Story by Nora Kobrenik.